~ CRGRE's veggies stock full of VITAL FOOD ENERGY ~

From: Crgre Jvyyneq (crgre+usenet@newsguy.com)
Subject: Re: Tales Of Supermarketing: I'm not sure what I'm eating any more.
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Date: 2001-05-01 12:25:35 PST
    

Warning: Greens want to be BITTER -- just remember that this is STOCK to build other FOOD with, this is not something to actually serve, unless you need VITAL FOOD ENERGY NOW. Also, this is a kind of cowboy recipe not a real professional type deal.

Equipment: Big cauldron, big sharp knife or mechanical chopping tool, ginger grater (ask at the Asian market or wherever you see warm hippy types congregating), freezer, containers for the freezer.

• 3 liters of premium chlorinated tap water of death
• 1 cup of hideous, disgusting miso

Heat water until the chlorine starts to fume off of it and add the miso -- stir quite rapidly and DON'T LOOK AT IT -- miso is HIGHLY NUTRITIOUS FOOD ESSENCE!!!

Begin to chop:

• 1 bale of dandelions, whole, not yet flowering, but maybe the flowers taste good try it and see
• 1 medium-sized kale
• 1 bok choy
• 6 large carrots
• 1 large yam (this is theoretical -- not yet proven)

Get as many greens as will fill the available cauldron. They will cook down into slime.

Chop everything into ATOMs and add to the sli^H^H^Hmiso. If there are too many of these ingredients, add them as the HORROR cooks down.

Did I mention you need a big honkin pot to put these in?

Onion, garlic, chile peppers in a quantity appropriate to experience with such things. They can be added later if needed, so restrain yourself even though it might seem like a good idea to add too much habanero. YES. Don't overdo it with those guys because this is stock and you don't want to overload flavors that can't be corrected when the stock is used to make actual food. I like aromatic herbs in vast quantities so I don't follow my own advice.

Chop into atoms.

Add half at the start and half at the very end, if you are a garlic/heat-tropic entity.

• Big bag o' fresh basil
• another of cilantro
• another of parsley
• Lots of rosemary and marjoram, fresh or not
• If you are rich or if you can find dried mushrooms that are not the evil button mushroom for cheap, especially shiitakes, chop up a cup o' them, too.
• Get more fresh herbs than you think you need. Use roughly equal amounts of parsley and cilantro and a little more basil.

Chop half of each bag into ATOMs, don't be fastidious about the herbs -- use the WHOLE HERB the stalks are OK and this whole mess is going to be liquified in the blender -- and add to the cauldron

Cover and let sit on low flame for hours and hours as the vital nutritional ESSENCES are cooked away! SHOULD'VE JUICED 'EM!!! STIR!!!

*************DO NOT BOIL!!!***************************

Add water if fluid levels begin to drop and remaining VITAL GREEN ESSENCE (the greens that wouldn't fit at first) as things cook down. Add remaining HERBs and add 1/2 bottle Pickapeppa sauce and 1/4 cup of PURE VERMONT MAPLE SYRUP. Sustained pumping action required. Add any remaining garlic or chile peppers if you like that kind of thing.

NOW

Use ginger grater to shred 1 medium-sized ginger root directly into the SLIME and stir vigorously without scalding yourself.

Chop up the remaining herbs and add them. Turn down the heat.

When there seems to be more VITAL FLUID and not so many stalks and leaves and things, switch-off the heat and ladel batches out of it into the blender and liquify. It won't really liquify there will be bits of bok choy and carrot staring back at you. Freeze in SMALL containers and add to any food that requires VITAL GREEN ESSENCES. Should keep for 6 months in the freezer.

It is probably true that boys and girls who are chefs will be appalled by this. If they show up, they will want to strain everything into clarified nerdvana. What ever. I am not talking about food for boys and girls who are actual chefs. They have their special ``training'' and their ``chef hat'' and all that. DO THEY CARE ABOUT VITAL GREEN FOOD ESSENCES???

What to do with it now that you have it? Cook other stuff in it, basically. GOOD LUCK! Dandelions are alleged to be good for the liver, if they're not pre-coated in deadly poison <--possible hazard!

My original goal was to make stock for a ready supply of hot and sour-like soup that also delivered HEALING GREEN ESSENCES. ``Just'' add: shiitake, wood ear, straw, other non-buttonoid mushrooms; slivered bamboo shoots; some star anise; scallions; rice vinegar or (inclusive) a little rice WIIIIIIIIIIIIINE; more ginger; anything else that looks it belongs in hot and sour soup. I tend to Vietnamize this by adding TOO MUCH cilantro and possibly fish and plankton and proteins from the sea.

It will be more like BITTER and sour soup, but that's not my meme.